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“Why I Call You Princess”

Dear Princess,

It’s me, 44-year-old you. Come sit with me for a minute.

Do you remember who first called you that? Mom did. She started calling you Princess when you were small, long before you had any reason to doubt your worth. I want you to know that name was never a fairy tale. It was truth spoken over you in love, a seed planted in your heart, whether Mom knew it or not. That seed carried you through some trying times to come.

Mom planted it, but you had to learn to water it so Yahweh could make it grow. And oh, was watering it tough, especially since your foundation in Jesus wasn’t established until much later.

Words spoken to you mattered so much back then. There was both positive and negative throughout your childhood, and you balanced one against the other in your own mind to self-soothe. The attack on your identity started early. I see now how the enemy came in through your thoughts and changed how you saw yourself, even as a little girl.

Comparison and self-image hit you hard growing up. I remember you were one of the first girls to develop. By second grade you were wearing a real bra. Skipping the training bra altogether. You felt so uncomfortable in your own body, because boys would stare, laugh, and point, and girls made their comments. Nobody told you it wasn’t your fault. You just learned to feel ashamed of something you never chose. And somehow your weight became the center of everything. Your were curvy, always curvy, and it felt like that one thing spoke louder than anything else about you. Every outfit, every photo, every room you walked into, you were watching your weight, and you believed everyone else was watching it too. You measured your worth by it more than you realized, Oh, Princess, you were so much more than a shape. The shortcomings of life, and how you thought you should look, were magnified. You never really felt like you fit in. Sure, you had friends, but inside you felt like the oddball, trying to fit in by doing things you knew in your heart were wrong or misleading.

Why? Oh, Princess, you’d find out later that you are set apart from the world you were trying to fit into. In Romans, Paul tells us not to be conformed to this world, but to be transformed by the renewing of our minds, so that we can discern Yahweh’s will for our lives. Later you’d learn that means the stages of metamorphosis taking place in you. Wow, that season. (We’ll talk about that one later.)

The harder you tried to conform, the deeper you sank into believing the lies of a false identity. You became okay with being uncomfortable, or unhappy, so someone else could be happy. You placed your value on performance, seeking approval for acceptance and belonging, no matter what it cost you. That’s where you found a false peace: if everyone around me is good, then I’m good. That stole a lot from you in the years to come.

But I’m here today to tell you, Princess: you overcame that. You are worthy. The seed Mom planted, the one you learned to water, did grow. And we have a promise from our good, good Father in heaven that everything the enemy stole, he has to return sevenfold. He keeps his promises. This Father is the real deal. His love is not transactional, and he will never leave you or forsake you, no matter what you have done. He loves you just the way you are, because he created you.

You’re getting it all back.

Love always,

B

Scriptures to Read and Reflect on

I planted the seed in your hearts, and Apollos watered it, but it was God who made it grow. It’s not important who does the planting, or who does the watering. What’s important is that God makes the seed grow. 1Corinthians 3:6-7 NLT

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect. Romans 12:2 NLT

But if he is caught, he must pay back seven times what he stole, even if he has to sell everything in his house. Proverbs 6:31 NLT

So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you. Dueteronomy 31:6

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex! Your workmanship is marvelous-how well we know it. Psalm 139:13-14